Erotic Bodywork; what it is and how it could benefit you! I had supervision with Betty Martin (inventor of the Wheel of Consent) the other day. She responded to my list of confusions, puzzles, exhaustions and troubles with this instruction… “Receive Erotic Massage.” She then explained. “It teaches you that you do not have to DO anything to be enough”.
3 is the magic number! The Triforce of Communication. Yesterday I met with my housemate for our monthly meeting (for which we use the Agile Scrum model. [LINK] To review the past month, we did a little exercise about ‘What is going well? What is not going so well?’ and then came back together to share our findings! I had
My last blog here was about Penis In Vagina (PIV) sex and my own personal and professional experience of it, and in particular it’s cultural dominance and the impact this has on our sex lives. Penetration as a concept After I had written the blog, I thought a lot about this idea of ‘penetration’ and my own relationship with it. I
Let’s start with a true story about me; (CN – teenage sexual activity) When I was a teenager, I knew I was attracted to men and women, and to people who were androgynous, and I could not determine whether they were male or female. I had a boyfriend for several months before I had penetrative sex with him. I was
One of my regular podcasts I listen to is ‘Disability after Dark’, created by Andrew Gurza, which aims to ‘shine a big bright light on how sexuality and disability feels for real – uncensored’. I really enjoy listening to Andrew raising important issues and breaking many taboos (that should not even be taboos) about having a sexuality and sex life
Something is on my mind. Genitals! (and the language we use for them). The UK Sexological Bodywork training is working hard to improve their language and inclusivity around many intersecting identities. A central one is gender diversity; the subjects of bodies, arousal, sexual attraction and anatomy are so heavily gendered. Somatic Sex Education and Sexological Bodywork should be embracing to
I feel I have arrived! Everyone’s definition of personal success is individual to them and I imagine not many people would define it as getting paid to coach someone in how to negotiate a threesome! That is what happened tonight. A regular online coaching client got in touch to ask if I could have a conversation with him about his
People talk to me after workshops, or they fill in feedback forms. One thing they often say is ‘I’ve been to things like this before, and they didn’t feel safe, but this did!’ I have had a think about the ingredients that make a safe(r) space for people to explore touch, intimacy, boundaries and consent. See my 10 steps below.
I recently spent 5 days training in the amazing Betty Martin Wheel of Consent. Betty is a fantastic Sexuality and Intimacy Coach who has developed this great wheel. For more information, you can visit http://schoolofconsent.org/downloads/ for lots of generously provided, free resources. Here is a quick thought for each day of the training and details of a short group I
The past 3 weeks, I have met 225 young people aged 16-17 to deliver a total of 9 1-hour Embodied Consent workshops. The ‘Embodied’ bit means we aren’t sitting in front of a PowerPoint presentation, and we aren’t watching the ‘Consent=Cup of Tea’ video on YouTube. Yes, I got them walking around the space, making eye contact with their peers,