Sexological Bodywork is not just for International Women’s Day!
All year-round Sex Education and coaching services for ALL women.
Sex Education and coaching services for ALL women. It is International women’s day on March 8th 2018. I have been struggling to find any reference to the organisation’s definition of a woman so I will create my own for the purpose of this blog.
I have been reflecting on my work with women, within a very gender diverse client base and workshop attendance.
My Starting point….
I define women as cis and trans women and anyone who self identifies as a woman.
I recognise and understand that people identifying as women experience the world we live in differently from those who identify as men.
All women are disadvantaged in a multitude of ways from how they are raised and the environment we live in, including economically.
Cis women experience gender based sexual abuse. Trans women also experience Trans misogyny and anti-trans violence and abuse. All women get used to living in fear and vigilance to avoid sexual violence and harassment.
This has powerful impact on all women’s experience of their bodies, sexuality, sexual identity and expression, pleasure and their relationship with trauma, power and consent issues.
Women whose romantic or sexual desires are not heterosexual, and who might identify as lesbian, bi, queer, pansexual, have specific experiences and also face homophobia and biphobia.
Women who have an anatomy that includes ovaries and uterus and who have periods or give birth may seek help and healing beyond a GP or gynaecologist.
Trans women who have a vulva/vagina created surgically often experience a lack of support in getting to know these body parts, or regaining sensation or getting over the often significant blocks to a healthy and satisfying sexual life. They might also wonder what help is available for them around their sexual lives.
Trans women who do not have surgery may also seek support around their relationship with their bodies, including around changes that occur due to hormone therapy.
All women age, and ageing can have a significant effect on their sexuality, desire, self-image and libido.
Many women experience issues such as vaginismus, painful sex, pelvic pain, scarring, numbness and lack of sensation, low sex drive, fear and tension around sex, sexual boredom, unwanted porn use or fantasies they worry about, lack of confidence or history of Trauma.
Some women simply have a curiosity and a desire for more pleasure and excitement and seek a Sexological Bodyworker to explore masturbation, pathways to pleasure, different sexual practices and genital massage, and more.
When cis and trans women seek help, there a lot of therapies and solutions offered that do not feel relevant to a lot of women, because of the way they are marketed or because the ideology or spirituality that comes with it does not resonate with them, or because trans women are not included or welcomed.
Women are diverse (we haven’t even mentioned other identities and experiences such as disability, class, age, ethnic background, religion). There cannot be a ‘one size fits all women’ approach.
I want my Sex Coaching and Sexological Bodywork practice to address the things that are missing for many people, so this is my offer to ALL women.
To this end, this is my commitment to ALL women:
- My approach will always be informed by my knowledge and understanding of the above and my belief that the status quo is unfair and damaging to all women.
- I will acknowledge that our understanding of gender is evolving and that it is incredibly complex, but will view you as an individual with your own story about how your gender has affected you and your life.
- I will collaborate with you to support you in addressing your sexual needs, desires, issues and curiosities to get to where you want to be.
- I will provide a safe, sensitive, non-judgemental and sex positive space where there is permission for you to talk about sexual and body related matters confidentially.
- I will use my therapeutic background and knowledge to work with you in a Trauma-informed way to ensure you never become unsafe in our work.
- I will work within ethical guidelines regarding safe practices, one-way touch and bodyworker being clothed.
- I will be honest and transparent with you about my role and if I feel that you would benefit from a different practitioner or therapist.
- I will give you my undivided and heart-centred attention for the time we are working together and listen and tune in to what you need.
- I will respect your autonomy and your limits and boundaries, and work at a pace that is right for you.
- I will always embed whatever work we do in a foundation of embodied consent, so that you can experience the power of full sexual agency.
- I will not make assumptions about you because you are a woman with any history: I will find out your story, your hopes, dreams and desires and how you see yourself as a woman.
- I will not make assumptions about who you love, who you desire sex with, how you want to have sex, what you call your genitals, how you like to be touched. You will tell me that, and the rest we will be curious about together!
- I will be interested in your spiritual and philosophical beliefs and work in a way that is meaningful to you.
- I will offer bodywork that is safe, planned and well-paced, to help you expand and explore touch, sensation and pleasure in a client centred, and client-active way.
- I will offer, when appropriate, teaching and demonstration of a range of sexual skills and practices (sensual touch, massage, sexual skills, genital and erotic massage) that can enhance your sexual life with yourself or another person.
- I will offer ScarWork ® for childbirth related scars, pelvic scars, scars from trans related surgery or self-harm if you are interested in working on your scars for appearance and/or healing and integration.
- I will offer workshops and groups for all women, which can both be cost effective and accessible, and also give women the chance to work with each other and benefit from mutual sharing and support.
- I also recognise that Non-Binary people have experiences which intersect with women’s experiences, and I also welcome them to my practice.
The above applies to individual work, couple’s sessions, or to groups and workshops.
If you are interested in booking a 30 min free consultation on Skype or a face to face consultation, please get in touch on firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks for reading,